Synopses & Reviews
"We all know bad manners when we see them," NPR and
Vanity Fair contributor Henry Alford observes at the beginning of his new book. But what, he asks, do good manners look like in our day and age? When someone answers their cell phone in the middle of dining with you, or runs you off the sidewalk with their doublewide stroller, or you enter a post-apocalyptic public restroom, the long-revered wisdom of Emily Post can seem downright prehistoric.
Troubled by the absence of good manners in his day-to-day life-by the people who clip their toenails on the subway or give three-letter replies to one's laboriously crafted missives-Alford embarks on a journey to find out how things might look if people were on their best behavior a tad more often. He travels to Japan (the "Fort Knox Reserve" of good manners) to observe its culture of collective politesse. He interviews etiquette experts both likely (Judith Martin, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He plays a game called Touch the Waiter. And he volunteers himself as a tour guide to foreigners visiting New York City in order to do ground-level reconnaissance on cultural manners divides. Along the way (in typical Alford style) he also finds time to teach Miss Manners how to steal a cab; designates the World's Most Annoying Bride; and tosses his own hat into the ring, volunteering as an online etiquette coach.
Ultimately, by tackling the etiquette questions specific to our age — such as Why shouldn't you ask a cab driver where's he's from?, Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity? and What's the problem with "No problem"? — Alford finds a wry and warm way into a subject that has sometimes been seen as pedantic or elitist. And in this way, he looks past the standard "dos" and "don'ts" of good form to present an illuminating, seriously entertaining book about grace and civility, and how we can simply treat each other better.
Review
andquot;Really? An etiquette book for teens? Yes, really, you butt-faced jerk! See, that right there is andquot;dickish behavior,andquot; a timeless plague for which Doherty has a cabinet full of cures. The atmosphere is pure Dick-and-Jane: fussy early-reader prose married to bland clip-art-style illustrations starring a deadpan boy and girl. Through these oldfangled characters, Doherty fires absurd twenty-first century zingers that happen to be really, really, really funny. (When was the last time you LOLand#39;d at a nonfiction book?) Droll humor is one thing, but does Doherty deliver substance? Shockingly, she does, offering teens blunt, no-nonsense advice on the adult world that awaits them. Examples: dont stare at a femaleand#39;s boobs during conversation, avoid passive-aggressive Post-its, try to smell like andquot;nothing in particularandquot; if you work in the service industry, donand#39;t recline your airplane chair all the way, and on and on. She even drops some mega-wisdom bombs; regarding faith, she writes, andquot;Believing in an idea is kind of like falling in love with a personandmdash;it just seems right, even if we canand#39;t explain it. Given the emphasis on roommates, office parties, and alcohol, this is clearly the gift book for next yearand#39;s high-school and college grads. After all, we all need the occasional reminder that peeing in the shower is wrong.andquot; andmdash;
Booklist, Starred Review
*IPPYand#160;(Independent Publisher Book Award)and#160;Gold Medal, Humor 2014*
Review
"Is it a breach of good manners to mislead folks just a little if you are going to show them a good time? The question arises after a brisk and happy trot through Henry Alford's new book, WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT?..Lively."--The New York Times
Review
"Investigative humorist Henry Alford explores the illusive art of behaving well... Alford is a charming writer, who seems able to spin delightful stuff from whatever straw he happens to stumble across, and his rumination on good behavior is no exception."--Salon.com
Review
"[His] self-deprecating wit recalls earlier generations of gentlemanly humor writers... Alford offers a...nearly always charming account of his own confusion about how to act."--The Boston Review
Review
"Alford is a razory-wicked, fun guy to be around, and each of his stories are like those 'tiny acts of grace' brightening your day."--Kirkus
Review
"Mr. Manners Henry Alford explains how-and why-to behave. WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT? amuses as it informs."--The New York Times Book Review
Review
"[Alford] describes life as a cosmic Wikipedia, in which each of us through our actions is redefining and expanding the categories to which we belong. The book alternates between these idiosyncratic digressions and actual commentary on modern manners...consistently fun."--Newsday
Review
"Extremely entertaining....Whatever the ideals may be, most of us can agree decent manners are a good idea. Thanks to this handbook, we stand a better chance of complying."--Bookpage
Review
"Even the best behaved among us would benefit from a close reading of investigative humorist Henry Alford's brilliant primer on gracious living, Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That?"--Vanity Fair
Review
"In today's world of social climbers, inconsiderate shoppers, cell phone yappers and the ever-evolving social media, Alford has taken it upon himself to get to the root of just what good manners really means in 2012. His flair for adding jovial wit to the proceedings offered is evident in every chapter. He has a natural, informative and clever writing talent....All in all, Would It Kill You to Stop Doing That? A Modern Guide to Manners provides a reference point from which to learn, a sympathetic voice of reason and an everyday guide for almost any social situation you could possibly imagine."--The Edge
Synopsis
A few years ago, humorist and journalist Henry Alford found himself reverse-apologizing: offering apologies for other people, on their behalf, when they failed to do so themselves. Ever since, he's realized he needed to take a closer look at manners-his own, and others'.
In WOULD IT KILL YOU TO STOP DOING THAT? he interviews experts both likely (Miss Manners, Tim Gunn) and unlikely (a former prisoner, an army sergeant). He volunteers himself as a tour guide for foreigners visiting New York City, and as an online etiquette coach for his friends. He travels to Japan. He teaches Miss Manners how to steal a cab. He designates the World's Most Annoying Bride.
Providing answers to questions like, Why shouldn't you ask a cabdriver where's he's from?, and Why is posting baby pictures on Facebook a fraught activity?, this hilarious and non-elitist book looks past the standard dos and don't's of good form, in search of ways we can treat each other better.
Synopsis
Essential (and emotionally intelligent) etiquette tips are packaged here alongside hilarious "Dick and Jane"-style illustrations. Laugh and learn.
Synopsis
On the one hand, nobody wants to be a dick. On the other hand, dicks are everywhere! They cut in line, talk behind our backs, recline into our seats, and even have the power to morph into trolls online. Their powers are impressive, but with a little foresight and thoughtfulness, we can take a stand against dickishness today. How Not to Be a Dick is packed with honest and straightforward advice, but it also includes playful illustrations showing two well-meaning (but not always well behaved) young people as they confront moments of potential dickishness in their everyday lives. Sometimes they falter, sometimes they triumph, but they always seek to find a better way. And with their help, you can too.
About the Author
Henry Alford is the author of three acclaimed works of investigative humor - How To Live: A Seach for Wisdom from Old People (While They are Still on this Earth); Big Kiss: One Actor's Desperate Attempt to Claw His Way to the Top; and Municipal Bondage: One Man's Anxiety-Producing Adventures in the Big City. He has been a regular contributor to the New York Times and Vanity Fair, and a staff writer at Spy. He has also written for The New Yorker, GQ, New York, Details, Harper's Bazaar, Travel and Leisure, the Village Voice, and Paris Review. He lives in Manhattan.