Seeing Through

The true confessions of a working opera composer: an exhilarating story of "a life that comes out of chaos."

At eight years old, Ricky Ian Gordon pulled The Victor Book of Opera off his piano teacher's bookshelf, and his world shifted on its axis. Though scandal, sadness, and confusion would shake that world over the next few decades, its polestar remained constant. Music has been the guiding force of Gordon's life; through it, he has been able not only to survive great sorrow but also to capture the depths of his emotion in song. It is this strength, this technical and visceral genius, that has made him one of our generation's greatest composers.

In Seeing Through, Gordon writes with humor, insight, and incredible candor about his life and work: a tumultuous youth on Long Island, his artistic collaborations and obsessions, the creation of his compositions (including The Grapes of Wrath, 27, Orpheus and Euridice, Intimate Apparel, Ellen West, and more), his addictions and the abuses he endured, and the loss of his partner to AIDS and the devastation of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. As Gordon writes of that period: "We were, thousands of us, Lazarus. We had to rise from the ashes. We didn't have to rebuild our lives, we had to build new ones."

Gordon has succeeded in building a remarkable life, as well as a body of work that bears witness to all he survived in the process--one that will endure as a pivotal chapter in America's songbook.

"In an autobiography that is at once heartbreaking and heartwarming, distressing and inspiring, bone-chilling and at times humorous, Ricky Ian Gordon tells the story of his life as a composer, with all of its immense difficulties and stellar successes. . . An intimate journey into the roller-coaster life of an outstanding contemporary artist." Thomas Bohlert, The East Hampton Star

"This is a big book, both literally and figuratively, full of big emotions and bigger tragedies, shameful secrets and bodily obsessions as well as the thrill of creativity, the sadness of ordinary life, and all the other moments in-between. By his conclusion, he wonders if sharing his life with the world is worth it. Might it be useful to someone? It is this generosity of spirit that is perhaps this book's greatest virtue." June Sawyers, Booklist

"The noted composer and doyen of modern opera writes, brilliantly, of the many obstacles life has thrown in his path . . . A superb memoir that reveals the pleasures–but far more, the pains–of the creative life." Kirkus Reviews